I
had an experience yesterday at work watching interaction between a parent and
child I have in my classroom. The child
had had a difficult day at school. He
was fighting with other children, had a bathroom accident and seemed not himself. The mother rushed in to pick him and his
brother up (they are twins), then rushed out so quickly I did not have a chance
to talk to her. When I was cleaning up
the room I found his wet clothes in a bag in his cubbie which she forgot to
check. I put them aside and continued to
clean. I then saw her and the boys walk
by the classroom going to their car from the playground. I stopped her and opened the door. I quietly said, “I’m glad I caught you,” and
gave her the wet clothes. She looked at
her son and rolled her eyes. She then
said his whole name with a sigh. He
usually goes by a shorter nickname. She
then told me loudly that he had pushed another boy on the playground and that
was why they were leaving. She kept
looking at him with a disapproving look.
She then told him she was not happy and they walked away.
The
communication was very one sided. When
relating this to the media-presentation this week the “Communicating with Young
Children” the communication was not reciprocal and respectful. This boy has a problem communicating in the classroom
and by relating it to the snapshot of the interaction with his mother it is
easier to understand. Talking negatively
in front of another adult who the child respects makes them feel very
unworthy.
I
believe the adult-child communication should have been done privately where the
issues could have been discussed in detail and worked out. No knowledge came out of the communication
which happened outside of the classroom.
I would have talked to both the children after the hitting happened, and
not scooted him away from the playground.
If I needed to have a conversation with the teacher I would not have
done it with the child present.
In
regard to my own communication with children this week the main thing I have
learned is I always treat children respectful and never put them down. I try to have meaningful conversations and
deal with problems as they present themselves.
References
Laureate Education
Inc.(Producer). (2011). Communicating With Young Children. Baltimore, MD:
Author
Alissa,
ReplyDeleteThis scenario truly saddens me! Children should have respect reciprocated, and feel as if they are worthy. I was almost in tears imagining this mother and her interactions with you and the child.
I agree with you; this conversation between the child and adult should have been handled away from others and in private. We, as educators and parents need to remember children need to be respected and felt as if they are worthy and appreciated!
Susan
Hi Alissa,
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing your observation in your class that remind me how the effective communication with children. As you mention that the adult-child communication should have been done privately, therefore the issues could have been discussed in detail and worked out.
Sometimes being a teacher or being a mother demand our awareness to always practice the best communication to the children in reciprocal, respective and always positive particularly in front of another adult around them.
To be honest, being a mother is sometimes more difficult that we have to have the awareness for 24/7 to always remember to practice the meaningful communication toward our children.
Thank you for the great reminder.
Regards,
Evita Kartikasari
After reading about your encounter I was thinking it might be a good idea to create a space for parents to speak with their young children after school. Maybe a mini conference room where the adult can be informed of the behavior and the child can respond or give a rebuttal. Then if the parent chooses to discipline them they are not publicly embarrassing them.
ReplyDelete